The long game

I re learned a valuable lesson last week. I was fortunate enough to spend my Saturday morning with a Forensic Psychologist who specializes in Threat Assessments and Threat Management in the workplace. He is a very clever man who understands the long game.

He was once invited to participate in a TV show, the premise being whether the participants were able to tell if someone was lying or not. This gentlemen set a goal to be the winning contestant (as you would when your professional reputation is on the line) and in order to do so he strategized and figured out that based on the rules of the game he actually needed to lose some of the earlier challenges he would be given on the show. What was so impressive to me was this gentlemen’s focus and preparedness to be seen to ‘lose on National TV. It paid off, he was ultimately the winning contestant.

Now we all know someone who feels they need to ‘win’ at everything and this example really affirmed my belief that when you keep your goals in clear sight and have a plan to get them you will achieve them, however setting yourself up to have to ‘win’ every argument and challenge along the way is likely just to drain your energies and become self defeating; especially if those small wins really don’t get you any closer to your end goal. There is a steadiness about remaining focused and a palpable strength of character when you choose not get drawn into the old game of being concerned what others may think of us.

It made me think a lot about priorities and knowing when to trust yourself and let go. Letting go is not about losing and stepping away from a time consuming challenge is not about losing. It is incredibly simple if you visualize a flow chart. Whenever you come up against a challenge or situation ask yourself ‘Does getting involved with this get me nearer to my goals?” If Yes, then engage. If NO then move on… DO NOT get distracted and there is no need to buy into any judgement that others may think less of you.

Only you know where you are headed, just keep your eye on the long game and you will get there.

© The Red Barn Cooperative – Working together to nourish lives
A Red Barn Coaching initiative

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October 2008
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