Finding your running mate…

Barack Obama found his running mate in Joe Biden. It has been reported that 65 year old Biden will bring ‘heft and foreign policy experience to the ticket’ but just by looking at them, how do you feel they complement one another?

When I coach relationships I look for the essence energy or emotional field that is created between people. I stop coaching the individuals themselves and instead draw back to see what the ‘relationship’ might have to tell us about a situation or challenge.

As individuals we all have our own essence but in relationship, whether that be with another individual or team we create a ‘third entity’. When we become aware of this entity we can begin to see why things can go a little awry or why things can be magnificent between people. Anyone can see this entity or even more importantly feel it.

Try it. Watch two people walk into a restaurant or along the street together, are they close girlfriends with lots of happy energy who look like they are endlessly colluding? Are they lovers who have a magnetic intensity between them, are they mother and child with that obvious unbreakable bond, are they two people who are silent but evidently fighting each other inside? Beginning to feel the picture? You may also have had the experience of walking into a conference room and feeling as if you are able to ‘slice the atmosphere with a knife’, ‘feel a chill’ or alternatively not keep the group focussed at all… this is the energy that is being created.

And the usefulness of this? Well being transparent about the energy is a good starting place. It may well help any ‘stand-off’ that is occurring, by talking about the third entity conversations tend to be less about what I think and you think and our differing points of view and instead can become a dialogue about what the common goal of the relationship is and what the relationship might be able to tell us.

Great essence energy should never be wasted! Are there people in your life who you just naturally get creative with? People who you have a grounded relationship with, people who when you are together you feel like you can do anything with? Well are you acting on it??

I have no idea if Obama and Biden felt a great essence energy between them but what I do see in the pictures so far is a little bit of a burden released and potential. If you were more aware of the energy you create with others and intuitively just stated what you felt about it, what would the impact be on your life, goals and the world at large?

I have known clients who have kept agencies on retainer because of the energy of the agency team and not necessarily because of the individuals themselves. Consider that, what energy are you putting out in the world when you are out and about either as a family or as a business team? And just so we are clear here, you cannot hide your third entity, it is created the moment two or more people show up together, it is present at all times so being conscious of it will move you towards getting intentional about what you would like to create together, aid you with decisions about your relationship and maybe help you course correct during the length of your relationship.

I ask that this week you look for the third entity, the essence energy that is created when you walk up to someone. It might be really hard to put into words, and to be honest this is when you are really in the essence place.. the place before you start making up stories about what is going on between you. So as part of my request I ask that you not over analyze what you both feel, instead just get conscious about it, look for the pure potential the third entity holds for you; might you have found your new running mate?

Candice

© The Red Barn Cooperative – Working together to nourish lives
A Red Barn Coaching initiative www.redbarncoaching.com

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