I am both completely frustrated with and enchanted by the play ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’.. per a prior ‘Nourishing Conversation’ you may have read about my predilection for fairy creatures but the star crossed lover bit… well really, it is very exhausting until thankfully cupid’s arrow is realigned and the couples ’shall eternally be knit’, for which after 2 hours of Shakespearian farce I for one am always eternally grateful!
It seems to me that the ‘knowing’ that you are with the ‘right’ person, whether you believe it was destined to be or a fabulous happenstance, has a big nourishing angle to it. Intrigued by this I conversed with two newly engaged couples, our own modern day Helena & Demetrius and Hermia & Lysander, asking them to share their own ideas about the nourishment of love and marriage.
Interior Designer Alyssa Pappas and Billabong photographer Pat Stacy are moving at joyful speed toward their wedding day in September and party planner to the stars Christina Dimitriadis & her betrothed New York Road Runner Rick Krupa were engaged in Celebration Florida (very fitting!) and are planning a Spring 2009 wedding.
Guys, what is important to each of you about marriage?
Alyssa – Marriage is important to me because it is becoming “one” with my other half. There’s nothing better in the world than experiencing life together! All my life I’ve dreamed of who that special “someone” was, and then Pat came into my life, and I just knew… he was the one that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with.
Pat – Prior to meeting Alyssa, I knew that I wanted to get married someday, but that was about as deep as it went. It was when I fell in love with her that I encountered this desire to commit my life to someone. I just knew that all I wanted was to wake up next to her every day forever. I wanted to grow up together. We are both fairly young and people tell us that we’re actually too young, but the way we see it is that God brought us together for a reason and we believe that as long as we always keep him in the center of our relationship then we can enjoy the rest of our lives together. We have so many goals that are going to take a lifetime to fulfill and we are enlivened by the idea of doing it together.
Christina – Coming from a Greek background, the importance of family was always emphasized. I think marriage takes this concept to another level – both emotionally and symbolically.
Rick – Teamwork
Pat, Rick what was it that compelled you to propose?
Pat – We came close to getting married before, but we just didn’t quite feel like it was time yet. We had things going on in our life that seemed like they would complicate things to the point where they would make it not as enjoyable. We didn’t want to marry into a clustered life. Then one day, I was sitting in Hawaii and she was coming out and it dawned on me. It hit me so hard and I remember that moment so clearly. I remember exactly where I was and everything. We were ready and I was going to ask her in Hawaii. I got the ring and my plan all sorted out, appointed a couple good friends who were excited to help and we got engaged at Sunset beach at Sunset in Hawaii.
Rick – The thought of spending the rest of my life with the person I love who loves me back.
Alyssa, Christina, what is the feeling that you associate with saying yes and what happens to you when you relive that moment?
Alyssa – Complete out of body experience… It’s like I was completely there in the moment, It was all so shocking and exciting, and I remember every detail, but I still felt like I wasn’t in my body…. I will say, it was the easiest question I’ve ever had to answer. I think I told the story of our engagement about 200 times, and each time, I felt like I was there again, reliving that moment! I get the chills everytime! I never get tired of telling that story…
Christina – Complete and utter disbelief and shock…we had only been dating 6 weeks! When I relive the moment, I still wonder at the concept of being in the right place at the right time.
What nourishment do you think marriage will bring to your life?
Alyssa – Marriage will strengthen my heart. I say this because Pat has the biggest heart of any human being. He cares for those who go unnoticed, he loves those who others shun, he desires the best for everyone, he has only friends, not enemies… Everyday I learn from him, and I know that my heart will only grow bigger as his wife. And I will give my whole heart to him.
Pat – I think that marriage is going to bring me into a phase of my life that I desire so much. Like I said earlier, before meeting Alyssa, that desire wasn’t there. But now my whole life is in this state of anticipation for our wedding. We have put off living together before we wed so we’re going to create a home together and experience for the first time in our lives a lot of new things. We talk every night about coming home to each other to hear about one another’s day, going through hard times and good times together, which actually brings me to another point. I have never in my life questioned Alyssa’s loyalty to me. She would go through anything for me and I would do the same for her. We both share a faith in Jesus Christ as our savior and we believe that faith, if kept healthy, can endure all.
Christina – I think most of us are naturally programmed to look for someone to spend the rest of our lives with. Finding Rick has nourished my heart by making it race every afternoon when I think about getting home after work and seeing him…nourished my mind by showing me that a formal education can sometimes teach you way less than an inquisitive nature…nourished my body by having a live-in coach, who is also an accomplished athlete, encourage me everyday to run further and faster…and nourished my soul via the combination of all of the above.
Rick – The most nourishment I am finding is in the soul because of the feeling that goes with finding the one person you realize you were destined to be with. Spiritually I am finding a very content place and I think we are all looking for a satisfied soul. My mind is a different story. My mind is pressure filled always trying to satisfy Christina. There’s a little part of me that’s always afraid I am going to do the wrong thing and push her away.
What do you think will be the most positive difference in your lives when you are married?
Alyssa – What I look forward to most is waking up with him beside me everyday! I also look forward to travelling the world together, serving others together, and simply starting life together.
Pat - The most positive things to come from our marriage, I imagine will be a stable life of time spent together. The bible says that when two people wed, they become one (sorry to be the bible thumper, that’s the last time). But I’ll never question our relationship. We’re a team and we solve problems together, and we enjoy good times together. She makes up for all the things I lack and I make up for all the things she lacks. The world has so much to offer and we want to experience it all side by side.
Christina – It’s hard to know if anything will feel different. I know that even being engaged, you have far more vested and you try way harder than you normally would to overcome obstacles.
Rick – I don’t think it will be any different than it is now except that Christina’s last name will get shorter.
Rick, yeah but Chrissy ‘K’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it does it?! Thank you all so much for sharing so authentically, I am so so excited for both nuptials and for the lives you have chosen to share together.
With love and sparkle..
Candice
P.S for giggles and touching moments you may want to check out Open letter to the girl I’m going to marry. The author writes letters to the girl he is going to marry but hasn’t yet met….
© The Red Barn Cooperative – Working together to nourish lives
www.theredbarncooperative.com
Would you like to read about nourishment in all its guises twice a week? We issue ‘Nourishing Conversations’ to our subscribers every Monday and Thursday, click here to subscribe by email or if you prefer to use an RSS reader you will find the orange chiclet up on the right…
0 Responses to “A very nourishing engagement!”